


Sight of the Stars

by astraeus



Series: Prompts, Drabbles, and Requests [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-05
Updated: 2014-05-05
Packaged: 2018-01-22 02:00:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1571897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astraeus/pseuds/astraeus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Short eruri drabble based on the prompt "I can't" from an anonymous tumblr user.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sight of the Stars

Commander Erwin Smith is, for the most part, a gentle man. First and foremost, his main concern is harmony among the walls. The scheming and fighting is simply an aftereffect of his determination to create a government for the people. He truly wants what is good for his society and will do most anything to ensure peaceful survival.

Erwin Smith is also a man haunted by the decisions he has made.

To create a government for the good of the people, one must first take down the corrupt through corrupt means. Smith is a man well-versed in the art of manipulation and getting what he wants.

But it’s for the people, of course.

Enter Levi, a thug with no respect for authority and an agenda all his own. Erwin detests the way his eyes are always half-lidded like he’s bored with everything. Despises the way he speaks with a drawl that suggests he’s better than everyone else. He hates the way Levi shows no emotion and constantly challenges his authority. When Levi shows enough aptitude and trustworthiness to worm his way into being Erwin’s right hand man, the Commander has never been more irritated.

Commander Erwin loathes the way he finds Levi in his bedroom every night.

“Why are you doing this, Levi?” Erwin gasps out as Levi’s mouth leaves soft wet kisses down his abdomen. The brunette never answers and takes to unlacing the larger man’s pants instead.

This isn’t right, it’s never right. It’s a direct defiance of regulation and still Erwin opens his arms like a lock to Levi’s key time and time again.

Sometimes when they’re lying in bed, sated and pliant, Levi will just talk. He likes to tell stories about his childhood that rarely see the light of day, things he’s heard about the lands far beyond the walls, sometimes he’ll recite poetry from books long banned by the government. Erwin lets Levi’s voice wash over him like a wave, and settle deep inside of his chest and it is then that he feels like he can let go. Like he can let everything build up and break the levee that Erwin has taken great care in building inside of himself.

“I can’t fucking do this. I can’t be the man these people want”, Erwin whispers, feeding his thoughts to the darkness like they’ll take it away somehow. Like the darkness will wrap it up like some many-limbed creature and squeeze it until there’s nothing left. The darkness does nothing but weigh heavier on Erwin’s heart.

Levi sits up in the bed and brings his knees up to his chest. The moonlight is bright enough to outline his silhouette, but otherwise, the room is too dark to see anything.

“No, you can’t”, he whispers. “I mean you can’t be the man these people want because they’re expecting a messiah. A great man with powers to fix what’s been broken for hundreds of years already. You cannot be this man.”

Erwin hums, prompting Levi to go on.

“But,” Levi continues, “You can be the man they need. You can be their hope that maybe things won’t get better tomorrow or in thirty years or ever, but they can keep pushing. You can be the man that inspires humanity to fight until the very last breath.”

The room goes silent except for the gentle breathing of two bodies quite unsure about where to go from here. This is uncharted territory for the two men. During their nights together, Erwin cries sometimes and sometimes Levi screams and smashes things against the walls and they’re always guaranteed to fall into bed together in a haze of tears and anger and an utter sense of futility, but they never have this naïve hope for themselves.

Commander Erwin sits up in bed, facing the other man’s profile.

“Maybe you’re right”

Levi huffs out a laugh, almost too soft to hear. “That’s the spirit, commander.”

**Author's Note:**

> I take prompts and requests! Send them to me on my tumblr account [here](http://astreaos.tumblr.com)


End file.
